Love being such a complex set of emotions is difficult to understand. This results in committing to people because we think we are in love by certain signs while the reality is otherwise. So in order to avoid the confusion, here’s a list of 18 signs which tell you that you have been mistaking your feelings as love:
(1) Having an awesome sex with someone who disappears after that:
Not all people equate physical relationship with a romantic one. Some are for casual hook-ups. You might have this awesome sex with them and then find they have disappeared, promising to call you later which of course they don’t.
(2) Obsessing with pop culture:
The two of you might be crazy about Avengers and prefer Marvel to DC but that doesn’t mean the two of you are in love. You can have similar tastes like a lot of people but you can’t be in love with all of them.
(3) Thinking about someone without having interactions in reality:
If you’re thinking about someone a lot but you don’t interact with them in real life, it means you love the idea of them, not them. It’s definitely not love.
(4) Receiving affection from someone who is usually distant:
If they love you, they wouldn’t come like an occasional rainfall. They would be with you always. If they show gestures of affection once in a blue moon and you are accustomed it that means you too don’t need them always. Love is about staying together. If you are used to the idea of them being not there always, then it’s not love.
(5) Spending too much time with one another:
While getting accustomed to the distance isn’t a sign of love, staying together always isn’t a sign either. The two of you might be comfortable with one another and stay together most of the times but it’s not necessary that you will cherish romantic emotions towards one another. Dating for the sake of comfort isn’t the key to a long-term relationship.
(6) Finally meeting the criteria of ‘ideal partner’:
You probably have a list of the things you want in your partner, that job profile, colour of eyes, a fit body and so on. If you find someone who meets all the requirements, you would probably want to date them but you can’t be in love with them. Loving someone requires emotional bonding.
(7) Having a shared experience of the past:
We all have traumas and there are more than one person who have faces traumas similar to us. It’s not unnatural to bond with someone like this but it doesn’t mean it’s love.
(8) Getting attention from someone you find superior to you:
You feel they are superior to you in terms of attractiveness and intellect; you crave their attention and they finally start showing you some. But it’s not because they are in love with you or you are in love with them. Acquaintances too can do that.
(9) Having a prolonged friendship with someone:
You’re probably friends with someone you know since the last 10 years and you’re probably thinking you’re in love with them. But that’s not the reality. Some friends are there to say and yes, you can have friends like that.
(10) Meeting someone again after years of separation:
You have probably met someone after years of separation and you think that it’s ‘destiny’ and probably the two of you are meant to be together. Hold on. There’s nothing romantic about it.
(11) Remaining in a relationship because you want to be loyal:
If the primary reason of you to stay in your relationship is because you are loyal to your partner rather than feeling comfortable with them, it’s definitely not love. You aren’t emotionally connected; you’re just sticking to your morals.
(12) Getting healed by someone who treated you like a shit:
If a person treats you like a shit and then heals you back, don’t consider it as love. If they could dare to treat you like a piece of crap once, they would do it again. It’s an abuser-victim relationship, not a healthy romantic one.
(13) Desiring someone who is unavailable:
You probably have hots for that person but if that person is unavailable, it’s not love.
(14) Finding someone who is stable and responsible:
They have a stable job and are responsible while you are still clueless regarding how to settle down in life. If you want to be with them because of their stability, then you’re not in love with them; you just want to be with them because of their stability.
(15) Having a fling with someone while you were travelling:
The two of you probably met together while travelling and might have ended up having a fling with one another but the reality is, you don’t each other well enough and that’s why it’s a fling, not love.
(16) Seeing someone in a very discreet way:
You’re seeing them without letting others know maybe because either of you don’t want others to know about the two of you. Love can’t be forbidden. If it’s forbidden, it’s not love.
(17) Wishing to get back to your ex:
Not all break-ups can end up in a reunion. You probably can’t get over with the break-up and try desperately to fix things. You’re not in love, you are just trying to mend wounds.
(18) Listening to your peers and letting them take the decision:
If your peers take the decisions for you regarding commitment, it means you’re not sure of the person or of the relationship. If you are in love, you are supposed to take the call yourself.
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