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Well, the answer lies in the story:
I had a friend in college and we spent a lot of time together. We stayed at the same hostel which drew us even closer. Gradually, over the course of our education, we developed a very good camaraderie and became the best of friends.Her name was Brianna.
In reality,Brianna was an unhappy girl. She was always unsure of her abilities, as if she was never good enough or beautiful enough or sexy enough. Brianna dated quite a few guys but always ended up being hurt. It took me a while to understand why and the realization of why Brianna was the way she was, made me a better person ,years after we lost touch.
While Brianna constantly experimented with love,I had it steady with my man! We were not the exact definition of a perfect couple but we were quite sure of where we wanted this relationship to go.We were so happy with each other, so devoted that we never took interest in what others had to say about us.We were living in this happy bubble.
As they say, all good things come to an end, our happy space-the love bubble we had created was about to burst,by none other than Brianna.
It was the night before valentines’ day and I was extremely excited. Dev had promised that he would bunk his classes and come to see me. That was supposed to be my gift-being able to see each other and spend some time,that was the kind of life we wanted. Bunking classes and going off to movies and then spending the whole three hours hand in hand, fighting over pop corns and stealing kisses -our happiness was in the little things life had to offer.It was like being over the moon. So I happened to be discussing my plans with everyone when Brianna asked me curiously,” what is he gifting you this valentines?”
“He is coming to meet me and that is enough”I said and meant every word of it.
Brianna seemed dissatisfied .”come on yaar,at least he should bring you something decent on this day “she mocked me. I could hear her mumbling about how it’s a special day and he should try to make it special for me. I don’t know whether she realized it or not but her words ruined all my excitement for the upcoming day.It was not because Dev was not bringing me a gift, it was because she made me feel small for being in a relationship with a guy who does not gift his girl something fancy on valentine’s day.
On the morning of the valentine’s day, I got a call from Dev saying an important lab examination was scheduled urgently and he would not be able to make it.I cried and started breaking my things on hearing that.I was being stubborn.I also threatened him to come and meet me or else I will break up with him.Being the mature guy he was, he understood I was angry and the words I said were not from the heart.He took my wrath for not coming that day but eventually he came in the evening somehow.I was furious.I did not look at him for once, neither did I say a word. When he tried to hold my hand,I jerked it away.He kept trying to make amends and left when I did not budge.
At night, I lay in my bed and pondered over Brianna’s every word- Dev was bad.He never gave me anything I wanted.He never posted our pics in Facebook and today he did not even care to meet me on this day.Maybe he has another girlfriend. Yes! that is the reason why he did what he did today.
And that is how the seed of doubt was planted in my mind.
Dev was a patient person ,way more mature, calm and understanding.He handled the situation with grace,he took blows when he wasn’t supposed to,he did all that just to make sure our relationship survived. I blamed him for being a cheater, for not giving me what I deserved. I declared him not being worthy of my love and I said so many things that I never should have said. He never said a word and kept loving me, loving the mess that I was.
It was years later when I realized Brianna was the kind of person who was more interested in what others perceived of her relationships- she wanted a perfect ,good looking guy who would take her on dates, gift her costly stuff, make reservations at best of the places in towns and upload all of their pictures in Facebook. He would then sit down with the laptop and comment on the same with things like “my baby is so pretty”. While she received what she wanted in every person she dated, she never really got what she needed. What she needed was not the gifts on valentines but the real love, the willingness to come meet your girl even after you had back to back classes,being concerned about whether she had food or not when you yourself had not eaten in a while.Real love is not about posting pictures in Facebook but it is about holding the hands tightly when the grip starts to loosen.
Since that incident,I had learnt my lesson- I don’t let others decide what kind of things my relationship has to offer me. I decide it for myself. I don’t care if he does not wish me at 12 o clock sharp on my birthday-what I care about is everyday for the past 7 years,he has called me without fail, even when jio and unlimited calls did not exist. I don’t mind if he does not post a picture of us in virtual media because he introduces me as his would be wife to his friends, in reality. I don’t mind if he doesn’t buy me that fancy dress I want so much because deep in my heart, I know he would have his credit cards at my disposal if any emergency arises.
We might be a many things but I sure as hell assure you, we are indeed a happy couple!!! It doesn’t take much-just appreciate the little things he does.