Are you depressed? Do you feel sad and hopeless? Are you even sure it’s you and not the jerks tormenting you all the time? Depression is no joke. It is a demanding mental health condition that can adversely affect what we think, how we feel and how we act. But before jumping on to the conclusion that you are depressed, make sure that the people around you are not pure-bred assholes. These toxic people will not only suck your energy but also make your life miserable.
Jerks are all around us
There are many top grade douchebags who can make us feel like we have lost our old happy, relaxed selves, simply through their toxic presence. Despite how much we try to be understanding, resilient and strong, certain toxic individuals can drain our energy and make us exhausted. So if you have been feeling upset lately, first make sure you are not surrounded by toxic people before telling yourself that you are depressed. Take a good look around you and try to identify that jerk who is directly or indirectly making you feel miserable.
The power of assholes
The question is why do these douchebags make us feel so depressed? Well, because deep down we are inherently good, decent and nice people who treat others with respect. And these assholes tend to take advantage of that. We are programmed from our childhood to respect people, value the opinion of others, consider others’ feelings, listen to what someone has to say and never to insult or humiliate anyone, unless provoked. Being a calm, empathetic person, you believe expressing your feelings and opinions as politely as possible.
But the same code is not followed by these assholes. They thrive on picking on nice people. Why? Because they are assholes. To them, your niceness is a weakness and once you start believing that yourself and doubt your values and principles, you feel depressed. Your sense of self-worth, confidence and self-esteem takes a huge beating and gets replaced by sadness, hopelessness and fatigue. So are you depressed? Probably not. Just take a good look at the people around you.
Signs you are not depressed, just surrounded by toxic people
Here’s how toxic & selfish individuals around you are trying to ruin your life and that you are not actually depressed. You are not the problem. They are. Take a look…
1. They are energy vampires
Assholes are pro at sucking out your energy and your good vibes leaving you drained and exhausted. These people will only take from you, whether you are willing or unwilling, but they will never offer anything back to you. Their mere presence will make you feel oppressed, disrespected and demeaned. Although they may act like they care about you, but in reality they simply do not care about your feelings or needs. They will never listen to what you have to say and instead will only talk about themselves and their non-existent greatness.
2. They guilt trip you
They are often narcissists and manipulators who will have no qualms about burdening you with their own expectations and compelling you to do what will inflate their egos and meet their needs. They are manipulative and try to influence you by making every conversation about them. This will make you sidetrack your own feelings and deny what you actually want from a particular situation. When you will be compelled to constantly focus on another person’s needs first, you will end up being frustrated and resentful. This leads to feelings of depression as you will keep suppressing your true feelings all the time, making you lose interest in doing what you love.
3. They are loud and ignorant
They always make sure their opinions are heard loud and clear by everyone. They are never worried about crossing boundaries to make their thoughts public even at the cost of invading your private space. They will not hesitate to hurt someone to drive their point home and to have the last word. When threatened by someone who is smarter than them, these assholes will instantly resort to lies, twisted facts, insults and even public shaming as they themselves are highly insecure. Having this type of a partner or a boss can make feel upset, miserable and stressed.
4. They turn you into someone you’re not
These conniving people will manipulate you to become a completely different person, someone you never wanted to be. You will not even recognize the person you’ve become. By playing the victim card, these assholes will shift the blame on you for everything that is wrong in your life and convince you that it’s all your fault. You will soon start doubting your decisions and actions. As a result, you will experience frequent emotional outbursts even at the smallest triggers which will affect your emotional, physical and mental health.
5. They lie blatantly to manipulate
An asshole will lie without hesitation about anything as long as it serves their purpose. They are masters at lying, gaslighting, spreading rumors and gossiping. As they believe they are always right, they don’t consider their lies as harmful or manipulative. If you get in their way, these expert manipulators will do anything to defeat you. As a result you will doubt your sanity, lose self-confidence and feel like there is no one to support you. These toxic individuals will make you isolated and lonely which can easily lead to feelings of sadness and hopelessness. They will make you question ‘are you depressed?’
Asshole recovery strategy
Are you depressed or are assholes trying to ruin your life? You can find these assholes everywhere, in your school, church, social circles, workplace and even in relationships. But you can still choose to fight back and reclaim your life.
Here are a few things that you can do about getting rid of assholes from your life:
1. Observe and be honest
Allow yourself to realize the reality. Understand that you are being psychologically and emotionally manipulated by someone in your life. Identifying that individual is the first step to getting your self-respect and self-esteem back.
2. Take charge of your life
Once you have identified that person, take action. Decide what you can do and how you can go about it. Even if it is a permanent relationship, you can still do something about it and take positive action.
3. Cut off all ties
End your relationship with that toxic person, if possible, or at least make sure you restrict your exposure to them. The course of action you choose will help you get away from that person and stay away from their toxicity. Reduce your interaction with them and in worst cases, break up with them, if needed.
4. Take care of yourself
Self-love is your strongest tool in healing yourself from this traumatic experience. Take care of your health, do things that you enjoy, spend more time with family and friends who support you, take a vacation, do anything that makes you happy.
5. Get help
Sometimes it may be important for you to seek professional help and get therapy. A therapist can help you get out of the manipulative clutches of this toxic person. Your therapist can also help you identify your depression and help with treatment. Don’t hesitate to ask for help, whether from a doctor or from your family and friends.
It’s time for you to stand up, take notice and take the required action. Know when you are dealing with an asshole and do what you need to live your life happily away from their toxicity.
You May Also Like:
- 10 Signs of Toxic and Narcissistic Friends – by Shahida Arabi
- How Emotionally Intelligent People Handle Toxic People
- 8 Types Of Toxic People You Should Leave Without Feeling Guilty
- Signs of A Toxic Person At Work: Workplace Bullying and Ways To Stop It